Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Make-Up Mind

I want so much of him but
I can’t focus long enough i
can’t be sure long enough to show
how I truly feel about him
his face when he’s concentrating
how he bites his bottom lip when he
thinks about unnerving things
his eyes, when they glass over with
thoughts of all he wishes he were, the way
he walks toward me and my heart floats
atop my lungs, upward toward my throat,
trying to escape, trying to reach him
trying to reveal itself to him, but it…
won’t it be easier if I swallow it down?
behind the smile I fake for him?
beneath the layers of plastic denial
I created for him to melt through?
I’m cold then warm then cold
toward him I’m drawn but will not
let myself
be.

- Jessica Mary

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